Don't eat the leftover pizza from the break room. Trust us on this one.
Wear a life jacket while walking across the office floor. Seriously, have you seen the carpet?
When in doubt, pretend you're on a mission to find a stapler in a different department and take the scenic route. It's great exercise!
Bring an umbrella, but not for the weather. It's for your eyes when your coworkers' fluorescent lights get too harsh.
For the love of all that is good, do not, I repeat, DO NOT look at the 'World's Best Boss' mug in the break room. It's a trap.
And remember, the coffee machine is not your friend. It's like a velociraptor in disguise.
Plan your escape for 4:00 PM Office Politics 101: Advanced Level Self-Care Tips for the Apocalypse